Watched
by shortlived
Summary: Logan watches Rogue through the years. Complete. Now divided into Chapters for an easier read.
1. Chapter 1

He watched her as she grew from the kid he knew to the young woman she had become.

He watched as she slowly started pushing everyone away from her and only came to him to talk to.

He watched. And Remembered.

* * *

Logan found himself alone in the TV room, another night that he couldn't sleep, another night of waking up to the sounds of his loud breathing and fast beating heart. The TV was on, not because he himself had turned it on, but because whoever occupied the room last hadn't bothered turning it off.

He didn't feel like it was his job to either so it remained on.

He was drinking his third beer from his hidden stash when he heard her pass the room. Logan obviously was not the only one who couldn't sleep that night. And he wasn't the least bit surprised that it was her. Logan wondered how long it would take before she noticed that he was also up and come join him.

Not long at all.

Only a couple minutes passed before she entered the room. Marie was cradling a mug, he knew it contained hot cocoa. Her favorite drink during the nighttime. She was wearing long pajamas, and light gloves that seemed to match perfectly. She didn't say a word as she sat down on the sofa with him.

Several minutes passed in silence.

Then she got up and started heading out of the room. Logan was somewhat taken aback when she suddenly turned around walked back over to him, and stood right in front of him.

He looked up at her wondering what she was up to. Marie seemed somewhat fidgety and he knew she had something to tell him. For days she had been acting strange. Always opening her mouth and then shutting it again, as if she suddenly lost the courage to say whatever she needed to.

"Logan, tomorrow is mah birthday." she said softly.

"I know kid." he said, crumbling his beer can up and throwing it beside the other two.

"I will be 21."

"I Know."

There was a slight pause and she looked unsure of herself.

"Do y'also know that I love you? she said the words so quietly that he almost didn't pick it up.

"I love you too kid."

"No Logan, I... Logan I love you but not like that." Marie backed away from him and sat down on the coffee table in front of him, suddenly unable to look at him. "I love you like a woman loves a man, not like a girl loves her brother." She was twisting a piece of her white hair between her fingers, a habit she always did when she was nervous. "I want to know if you feel the same."

He stared at her blankly. No emotion showing on his face. But in reality he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

She loved him! Nobody loved him... He didn't even love himself. Hell, he didn't even like himself.

Logan had to hand it to her though. Being able to tell him that. He found that she was staring at him, Marie looked to be the object of calm as she waited for him to say something. But he could see her eyes clouded over with fear, not to mention he could hear that her heart was beating abnormally fast.

"I don't," he finally answered more gruffly then he meant to. "Your just a kid."

She jumped to her feet.

"A kid!" she said loudly "A kid, is that all I will ever be to you? A pathetic little kid who always needs your protecting?" She glared at him, her eyes wild. "Well I am not! In case you haven't noticed I am not that scared little girl you saved at the statue of liberty. I am a grown woman. Who can take care of herself!"

Her hands were waving about as she shouted but she suddenly stopped. Turning away from him she just stood there. Logan didn't hear her cry but could smell the tears just the same. He stood up to try to go to comfort her.

She must have heard him. Marie whirled around and kicked him hard in the stomach. He landed with a thud back on the couch.

"Don't!" she said looking down at where he was now positioned, anger contorting her pale face. "I don't need your pity, don't need your comfort and most of all don't need your touch!"

Her face suddenly softened as she realized what she did.

"I'm sorry, it just.. well.. ah thought y'cared for me."

"I do Marie.. I.."

"But you don't love me.." she said interrupting him... "don't love me like that."

Logan being one that never tiptoed around words answered right away.

"No... no I don't... I care for you Marie, a lot more than I ever have for anyone in a long time. But I will could never love you. Not like that." He didn't take his eyes off her, for this time it was he who waited for a response.

But Marie gave none. She just exhaled her breath as if she was holding it. Gave him a look of regret and sadness and walked even more quietly out of the room then when she entered.

* * *

So he went back to watching her.

Watching her as she slowly drifted further and further away from him. No longer coming to him for advice and their conversations becoming few and farther apart.

He watched as she broke of her relationship with the frozen icicle but somehow managed to remain friends with him.

Watched as Scott seemed to notice Marie more and more each day. Watched as they both formed a friendship that he thought only him and Marie would ever share.

He watched as guys would ask Marie out and she would always say no. Sadness in her eyes but determination in her voice.

He watched as she pushed herself harder and harder each day, learning how to fight, going to college to get a degree. She seemed totally obsessed with it, putting her body and soul into learning.

He watched as she went from depressed, to somewhat saddened until finally she returned back to the Marie he sorely missed.

And so it continued. Day after Day, Month after month. And then a year...

Until one day.

* * *

Logan was out tinkering with his motorcycle out in the garage when he heard someone enter it.

It was her. He would know that scent anywhere. He continued to work on his bike trying not to pay her any attention, which was somewhat difficult.

She started to speak to him. Confidence radiating in her voice.

"Logan, we need t'talk." He looked up at her, put his wrench down and stood up wiping grease on his jeans.

Marie saw his confused expression.

"Don't worry I am not going t'profess my undying love for y'again." she frowned while saying that although Logan heard humor in her voice.

"That's good to hear. " he gave her a half smile. She returned it. Marie then continued to speak.

"It's just that.. well... these last months have been really difficult for me." she said, her words edged with sadness. "I miss you. I miss ...our friendship, I miss y'being a part of my life... Is it too late t'start again?"


	2. Chapter 2

And so their friendship started again. It took a while for them to get comfortable with one another again but they did. And another year went by.

He still watched her.

Watched as Marie became involved in her first romantic relationship since Bobby. And with none other than a person Logan didn't trust, not to mention a guy who was a complete ladies man and way to cocky for Logan's taste.

When he confronted her of that fact she just laughed it off.

"Oh Logan, there's just somethin' about those bad guys." was her only reply and end to the conversation.

He watched as her relationship continued and was stunned to find the guy she was with was a better person than he first figured.

One just had to see how the man looked at Marie to see he was in love with her. And Logan didn't see the man making eyes at any of the other girls anymore. Sure the guy still flirted, but Logan knew there was nothing behind it. The man only had eyes for Marie. For some reason that brought pain to Logan. It was getting serious. He didn't like the idea of that.

But it was more serious than he thought.

One day late at night after coming home from all night bar hopping he was passing her door when he heard crying. It was slightly muffled as if she was crying in her pillow or something. She probably was.

He knocked on the door softly. The crying stopped immediately.

"What do y'want Logan?"

"How did you know it was me?"

"By your knock.""

"Open the door."

"And if ah don't?"

"Then I will have t'open it with my key!"

One of his metal claws came out of his skin at the ready, just in case she did not open the door. But she did.

"Y'don't have a key!" Marie said while opening the door, she then noticed his hand.

"Oh." she said rolling her eyes at him.

Logan sheathed the claw and took the opportunity to look her over. He saw her hair was all messed up and her eyes were red. She was still dressed in what she had been wearing early in the day, although now her skirt and blouse were creased and wrinkled.

"What's wrong Marie?"

She opened the door wider and let him in her room, then shut the door behind him.

"Oh Logan.." she put her head on his shoulder and started crying.

He just stood there unsure of what to do. Logan tried to pat her on the shoulder comfortingly.

Several minutes later she stopped, wiped her eyes and went and sat on her bed.

"I don't know what t'do Logan."

"About what?"

"About this."

He walked toward her and she handed Logan a small box. He opened it. Inside it was another small box. A black velvet one. Logan knew what it was but opened it anyway.

It was an engagement ring.

"Remy has asked me t'marry him." Marie said stating the obvious.

He tried to keep his voice neutral but inside his head he was screaming.

"What so wrong with that, don't you love him?"

"Of course I love him! More than anyone in the world!" Logan flinched at that but she didn't notice. "That's not the problem!" She looked up at him slowly. "Its just that... what kind of wife can I be when we can't even touch, can't kiss, can't hold hands, can't even make lo.."

Logan quickly interrupted her, imagery going through his mind that he didn't want to be there.

"He obviously loves you too much to care about those things."

"But how can he? Y'know the type of person he is... a hands on kind of guy..." she slightly chuckled at that but them become sad once again.

"Look," he said sitting down beside her on the bed. "Obviously this isn't a problem for Gambit, why should it be for you?"

"Because I want t'show him how much I love him but I can't."

He squirmed uncomfortably on the bed.

"Haven't you... well," he coughed "experimented?" he found he couldn't look her in the face as he continued. "I am sure there are ways around it if you tried."

"It wouldn't be the same... I want full contact." She started to blush. "Skin against skin."

And so the conversation continued until it drifted and ended with Marie falling asleep in his arms.

Logan found he didn't want to let go. But he finally tucked her under her comforter and kissed her lightly on her forehead. As he was walking out of her room he realized that not once did she ask him whether or not she should marry Gambit. He had a feeling she had already made up her mind.

He was right.

Logan watched as the news was announced around the Xavier Institute.

The Professor hugged Marie and shook Gambit's hand. Dr. McCoy and Kurt did the same.

Logan watched as Marie's friends Kitty and Jubilee screamed and Storm gave Marie a huge hug. He watched as she became happier then he had ever seen her.

He watched as she looked at Gambit, so much love in her eyes that he thought they might burst from all the pressure. It gave him a piercing headache. One that didn't last very long due to his healing factor.

* * *

And then the day arrived. Gambit and Marie's wedding. Three months later. The time had come upon him so quickly. It was now time to walk Marie down the aisle.

Marie had asked him not long after the engagement was announced... at first he has said no, but after much convincing she finally persuaded him to do it. And so Logan found himself going up to her room where the girls were preparing Marie.

It was time. Time for her to become a wife. He knocked on the door softly.

"Who is it?" He heard Ororo ask.

"It Logan. It's time." Ororo opened the door to let him in. If he was looking at her he would have seen the amused expression on her face as she saw him in his tux. But instead his eyes were on Marie.

She was standing in front of a mirror. Kitty and Jubilee were putting her veil on. Marie was wearing a totally white satin dress that seemed to amplify her innocence and virtue.

Walking past Ororo he entered the room. His eyes still transfixed on Marie. She turned around and smiled at him.

"Well What do y'think?"

"I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on." Logan said knowing full well he meant it.

He saw tears well up in her eyes.

"Really?"

"Yea."

Rogue looked at Jubilee, Kitty and then Storm.

"Guys can we have a minute?"

"Not too many minutes," Ororo said as she motioned for the two girls to follow her. She then winked at Marie. "Don't want you to miss your wedding"

As soon as the other girls left Marie picked up her dress so that she could walk more quickly and rushed into Logan's arms.

"I can't believe the day has finally arrived. I can't believe that I am about t'get married! Become a wife!"

He slowly pushed her out of his arms, Logan's hands still holding her gloved ones. He looked down at her through her veil.

"You sure you want to go through with this? I mean that guy used to be a thief Marie, and who knows what else!"

"Of course I want t'marry him," she said her face becoming somewhat confused. "Unless y'have a reason for me not to."

He realized that she seemed to be giving him a chance. A chance to claim her for his own.

But he couldn't. He didn't.

"No, I guess not." he answered her.

She took her hands out of his and started to walk away. Her face a mask of hidden emotions.

"Well come on Logan," She said not even bothering to slow down or turn around. "It is time for me t'become Mrs. Remy LeBeau."

And so she did.

The marriage ceremony happened so quickly that Logan already found himself at the after party. The cake was cut the food brought out and the dancing started.

Marie had taken off her veil and was now on the dance floor with her husband.

Logan couldn't take his eyes off her.

When the dance ended Gambit and Marie made their way back to their table, Marie sat down, Gambit remained standing. The Professor noticed and informed everyone telepathically that Gambit had something to say. That irritated Logan.

The music softened and everyone turned toward Gambit. Holding Marie's gloved hand over the table he started to speak.

"I know dat you all are probably tinkin' that Remy have a speech t'make or something, But dat is not so."

He bent down and picked a small box up from under the table.

"Remy have a gift for my belle wife dat Remy want t'share wit all of you."

He put the box in her hand. She looked down at it and then back at Gambit. He motioned for her to open it.

She took the bow off first and then took the lid off the box. She finally pulled out a small glittery gold object. Since Logan was also sitting at their table along with the Professor, Dr. McCoy, Scott, Kurt and Ororo they were the first to see that it was a bracelet. He watched as Marie became somewhat confused. As if she was expected something more.

Logan couldn't blame her. Even he had gotten her a better wedding present than that... Or so he thought.

"A bracelet," she finally said. "Um, that's great honey." she didn't seem that impressed but was trying her best to show otherwise. Nobody else was impressed by it either.

"Its not just a bracelet, It also be a power inhibitor."

Remy took one of Rogues gloves off and then slid the bracelet on over her slim wrist.

Rogue suddenly closed her eyes and let out a soft gasp as if in pain. Logan started to get up in his seat as if to rush to her side but the Professor grabbed his arm and motioned for him to sit down and watch what was about to happen. So he did. A little unwillingly but he sat there just the same.

Gambit then took her bare hand in his and brought Marie to her feet

"My gift t'you is touch." He said using his free bare hand to caress her face.

"How is this possible Remy?" her eyes were closed relishing the feel of Gambits fingers. Tears now streaming down her face.

"You can dank da Professor and Henry for making it for you.." he said gesturing to them both. "Dey have been workin' on it ever since our engagement was announced,"  
Then he started smirking. "Of course y'can dank Gambit for "acquiring" the specs, or else it wouldn't have been possible at all."

"Oh Remy I love y'so much!" she said and then they were kissing. The kiss started out slow but then quickly became quite serious as if they were totally unaware that the whole Xavier Institute for the Gifted was watching.

He noticed out of the corner of his eye how Scott turned his head away as if he couldn't watch.

People started cheering and hooting and that was enough to pull Gambit and Marie apart. Logan was glad because he was starting to feel sick. If that was at all possible.

Marie then rushed over to the Professor and placed a kiss on his cheek and then hugged him. She then did the same to McCoy.

"Thank y'both so much! Y'have made me the happiest person in the world!"

The professor and Henry both were beaming from her show of emotions.

"You're welcome." the Professor said.

"Glad you like it." McCoy said.

"Like it? I love it!" This is the best present ever!" She quickly rushed back over to her husband, grabbed his hands after tearing of her other glove and then they both made there way back to the dance floor. The way they responded to each others touches while they danced on the floor made Logan antsy and he saw he wasn't the only one.

Scott got up out of his seat and walked out of the room. Logan found that peculiar. But then he found he wanted to do the same. Although he didn't move. Logan just sat there at the now empty table all alone using his fork to stab the wooden surface over and over. He then felt a tap on his shoulder and Marie was looking down at him.

"So y'want t'dance with me or continue stabbin' the defenseless table with your fork all day?"

She grabbed his hand with her bare one. And for the first time there was no pull. Only the softness of her skin. Making there way over to the dance floor he saw that Gambit was watching them.

Gambit caught Logan's eyes. The red eyed thief then smiled at Logan as if to say _sure she is in your arms now, but for the rest of my life she will be in mine_. Gambit then turned around and continued to talk to the professor.

And then they danced. The music was slow, the lights dim.

Marie had her eyes closed and had placed her head against his shoulder. They swayed slowly to the music. He found he didn't want the moment to end.

But it did. The song ended and without saying a word she hugged Logan tightly and then rejoined her husband. She didn't even look back at him.

Logan took that as his cue to leave. Not just the room but the mansion. It was time to get away.

He didn't wait around for them to change, for her to throw her bouquet or Gambit the garter. Logan didn't even say goodbye.

He knew that they would soon be going on their honeymoon and he didn't want to send them off with all the others. Instead he left a note with Ororo to give to her when she was alone with Marie.

She would come back. And in time Logan knew he would to.


	3. Chapter 3

Four months passed before he went back to the mansion. When he returned the first thing that happened was being hugged by Marie. As if things had never changed.

But they had.

For one she wasn't wearing gloves, or a scarf. She was dressed in a pretty summer type dress with spaghetti straps that showed her skin off. More than he had ever seen of her. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail along with her white strips and the only makeup she wore was some lip gloss that held the light scent of strawberries.

"Nice trip?" she asked after letting him go.

"Yea." he muttered.

He knew she was waiting for him to ask her about the honeymoon but he didn't.

"How you doing kid?" She wrinkled her nose slightly at the use of his nickname.

"Wonderful!" she then smiled widely and became very excited, like a little kid on Christmas morning.

"Guess what!" she exclaimed.

"What?"

"Professor Xavier has decided that Gambit and I will now be permanent part of the X-men team!"

"That's great kid," he eyed her bracelet. "You wear that on your missions?"

"Of course not silly. Although I probably could if I wanted to."

Logan didn't know what she meant by that but quickly found out as he re-joined the X-men on missions. Watching as she easily fought their enemies without even having to result to her touch. He rarely saw her take off her gloves to use her power. She didn't have to.

He watched and noticed that her words from that night were true.

She didn't need him to protect her anymore. Marie could take care of herself.

Logan also saw that Gambit protected her fiercely. As Marie did Gambit in return. Logan had to admit they made quite the pair.

* * *

And so another year went by. Logan didn't stay around as much as he used to but still dropped by for a couple months here and there.

He watched as Gambit and Marie's marriage continued. Successfully too.

For some reason Logan thought it wouldn't last. Maybe he didn't want it to. But it did.

He watched as they would have heated arguments only later to be snuggling close to one another as if they never happened. Logan watched as his and Marie's relationship changed, sure they were still good friends but it just wasn't the same. They did still managed to spend time together but more often than not it was interrupted by Gambit. He noticed that she never minded.

He knew she really did love him. So much so that whenever her husband entered the room Logan seemed to disappear completely.

And then one day he noticed that her scent changed. No longer did she smell like herself-mixed with Gambit's scent but now it had a third along with it all.

Logan knew before she did. Marie was pregnant.

He watched as her stomach expanded and her moods changed abruptly.

He watched Gambit follow her around always making sure she had everything she needed.

He watched her eat like he had never seen her eat before.

He watched as she became a teacher at the Institute, teaching Algebra. He even sat in at some of her classes.

For some reason Marie found that amusing.

He watched as she became more and more beautiful ever day. Motherhood suited her well.

He watched her become nervous as her husband went on missions without her.

Logan didn't see that side of her very often since he usually was going on the missions too. But on those rare days his hearts always went out to her.

On one of those days he was outside sitting on a bench smoking a cigar. Hearing her even before she opened the door to make her way outside he sat there quietly. He quickly put his cigar out so that she wouldn't have to breath it in, her or the baby.

Marie noticed him right away and with some what of a struggle due to her bulging stomach she finally sat down beside him. He tried to help her but she just playfully slapped his hands away.

"I got it," She said a twinkle in her eyes. She started sniffing the air. "I interrupted one of your smokin sessions, ah'm sorry I'll leave."

She started to try to get up but he abruptly stopped her with his words.

"That's okay darlin'. You're ok."

She eased back into the bench. Then let out a long sigh. Marie then suddenly sat up. And started feeling her large stomach.

"This baby sure is being rambunctious today!" she eyed Logan out of the corner of her eye "Do y'want to feel Logan?"

"No that is... "

But before he could finish she had already grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly. Logan felt it immediately. The small kicks of life. She smiled up at him as he slowly eased his hand of her stomach.

"So do you know yet?" he said after what was too uncomfortable a silence for him.

"Know what Logan?" She had her eyes closed, her hands resting on her stomach.

"Whether it is a girl or a boy."

She opened one of her eyes looked at him and then closed it again.

"No, still don't. Remy and I decided we wanted it t'be a surprise."

"Don't you have enough surprises in your life?"

"Yes, I suppose we do but not enough of the good kind."

He grunted at that. She smiled slightly in response. That was the last real smile he would see for some time.

* * *

Later that they both headed toward the sub-basement where the x jet had just returned. Marie racing there faster than he would have thought possible in her condition.

When they got there they both stood there waiting.

First Storm came out, then Nightcrawler and Cyclops. None of them looking good. Their clothes torn and some of them were slightly bloody.

The mission obviously didn't go well.

Logan saw the confused expression on Marie's face as she noticed that Gambit had not exited the craft, hurt or otherwise.

Scott turned to Marie and Logan. His face more serious than Logan had seen in a long time.

"Marie.". he said approaching her cautiously. "Marie we need to talk"

"About what?" her features getting even more worried. "Where's Remy?" She looked past Scott's shoulder and tried to look inside the Jet.

"That's what we need to talk about... why don't you come inside and we can talk about it there." Scott was doing his best to sound calm but Logan heard the slight tremors of nervousness and sadness? in his voice.

Scott turned around and started to walk toward where Ororo and Kurt where standing.

"No!" Marie shouted at the departing Scott.

Scott turned around not at all taken aback by her sudden outburst.

"I am not movin' or goin' anywhere until y'tell me where the hell mah husband is!"

Scott, Kurt and Ororo exchanged saddened glances.

Scott started to speak but Ororo placed her hand on Scott's shoulder and shook her head.

"No Scott, I will tell her."

"Tell me what!" Marie said, the tension in the room thick enough to slice through.

Ororo turned to Marie walked up to her and took hold of her hands in a comforting gesture.

"It's Gambit." Ororo paused as if to draw some energy from herself and then continued. "I'm afraid, "I'm afraid he didn't make it Rogue.."

Now that Storm was closer Logan could see that she had been crying.

"No, no Remy can't be dead!" Marie started to visibly shake. Logan tried to hold her to comfort her but she shook him off.

She looked up at Ororo with her tear stained eyes.

"How?" she asked softly.

"You know what our mission was this time?"

"Yea, Remy told me. The hostage situation at the mutant hospital. Y'were goin' t'rescue those people."

Her voice was monotone as if she was turning herself off. Logan knew she was going into shock. Ororo noticed also as she started talking more quickly. Her words coming out in a rush.

"Well when we got there we managed to get most of the people out, we were just about to go back in when the whole place exploded." Ororo looked at Marie worried for her friend. And then continued, pain in her words. "Gambit was still inside... I'm so sorry Rogue, there was nothing we could do.. we thought we had disarmed all the bombs. We were obviously wrong."

And that is when Marie did something Logan wasn't expecting.

She fainted.

Logan watched as Kurt managed to teleport himself over to her and caught her even before he had a chance to try.

Kurt nodded at Scott and then was gone again in a mist of blue smoke. Logan knew she was being taken to the med lab.

The next few days went by painfully slow. The shock of Gambits death making Marie go into premature labor. She gave birth to her son that day.

The day her husband died.

He heard from Dr. McCoy after he came up to talk to the Professor that the baby was healthy. So was the mother. But he had given her a mild sedative since she became irrational and almost delirious. Screaming Gambits name over and over.

"Her mind needs a break." He told Logan.

When she finally woke up Marie wouldn't allow anyone to see her. Logan tried to see her anyway, but the Doctor wasn't having it.

"Please Logan, she needs to be by herself, with her baby.. alone."

It Took her a week to finally go back to her room that she had shared with husband. Took a month for her to finally come down and even talk to anyone.

She always had her baby with her. Wouldn't let him out of her sight. Julien Charles LeBeau she had named him.

Over that time the Professor managed to pull together a quiet little funeral together for Gambit which everyone attended.

And then the months went by.


	4. Chapter 4

Logan stayed longer than he normally would have. More worried for Marie than he had been in a long time.

He watched as she visited Gambit's grave every day. And he watched her as she finally started to reemerge back into her world.

Watched as she finally allowed other people to look after her son as she started to go on missions again.

The Professor had told her he didn't expect her to join the team again so quickly.

"I have to, I need to." she told him urgency in her voice.

So she did.

She even went back to teaching.

But Logan noticed something wasn't quite right with Marie. She seemed to be planning something, acquiring information. But about what he didn't know. He saw that she was on the computer more than usual and late at night she was always in the danger room doing what kind of scenarios Logan had no clue. Marie always locked the doors when she was inside.

But he would find out several days later...

Logan was returning back to the sub-basement where the mansions "extra curricular activities" were based since he had left his leather jacket there after the just completed mission. On the way down in the elevator he could vaguely pick up two peoples voices. One pleading one screaming.

When the elevator door finally slid open he heard the conversation clearly. Thanks to his extra sensitive hearing.

Normally he wouldn't have put his nose into it but one of the voices was Marie's-the screaming one. Making his way closer to were the voices were coming from he paused outside the doors where the X jet was housed. The doors were slightly ajar. He peered inside.

Scott obviously still hadn't changed out of his uniform, Marie obviously had. She was now wearing all black.

What Marie was wearing seemed to be a sort of one piece outfit. It was very formfitting, almost like a second skin. She also had some sort of black utility belt around her waist. Logan also noticed she had a hood that wasn't on at the moment but from what he could make out it looked as if it would cover her hair and most of her face. Almost like a ninja uniform.

She was definitely up to something.

"No Scott you're not stopping me!"

"Rogue you can't do this!" he grabbed her from behind stopping her from walking away from him.

"Like hell I can't!" she spun around and kicked Scott in the shoulder. The impact caused him to let go of her and she started walking toward the jet again.

"If I knew telling you who was behind the bombs at the hospital was going to put you into revenge mode I would have never told you!" He said raising his voice in anger and regret. "I thought you were better than this. Who do you think you are... Wolverine?"

Logan grimaced at those words when he heard that but continued listening and watching.

Marie stopped at that and turned around.

"If you didn't tell me I would have found out anyway, the Friends of Humanity had their stench all over the cursed event!" and then she walked right up to Scott and put her face into his. She started speaking so softly that Logan almost didn't even pick it up "And if I was Wolverine, I would kill you were you stand," she then grabbed Scott's hand "not do this."

Scott started to look confused but not for long, Logan watched as both Marie and Scott's veins started pulsing as she started to drain him of his energy. She didn't let go until Scott slumped to the ground.

She closed her eyes quickly and pulled out a pair of ruby lens quartz glasses out of her pocket, which told Logan she had been prepared for the scenario of Scott coming upon her. Discovering her. At any other time he would have been thoroughly impressed, but now he was only concerned.

He watched her as she got down on the floor and whispered to Scott.

"Sorry Scott you were so busy trying to stop me that you didn't even notice I wasn't wearing my bracelet." her voice was so cold and distance. It almost didn't sound like her.

He then watched as she looked around her and then slowly dragged Scott's still body to the changing room.

When Marie came back and noticed that Logan was in the front of the jets open door, blocking her way, she didn't seem the least bit surprised.

"How long ya been here Logan?" her voice was still almost entirely emotionless.

"Long enough to know that you are about to do something stupid."

"Oh, really! That coming from the Wolverine!" she started approaching him slowly, "Get out of my way Logan!" she said to him through clenched teeth.

"You know I can't do that!" he looked at her, determination in his eyes. "What do you think you are doing Marie?"

She just stared at him impassively.

"You above all people should know what revenge looks like!" she paused, anger now burning in her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me about the Friends of Humanity?" she started to shout loudly "Why didn't you tell me how they murdered Remy!"

"I didn't know Marie!"

"And if you did?

"I would have told you!"

He watched her as one lonely tear made it's way down her face.

"They must pay for what they did! ...I am truly sorry Logan but not even you will stop me!"

She looked up at him and with a flash of the wrist threw something on the ground in front of him. Some sort of gas started billowing around him. Logan dropped to the ground and started coughing.

"Sorry Logan." he heard her say... then his world went dark.

* * *

After waking several minutes later to the now jet-free basement and taking the unconscious Scott to the med lab, Logan informed the Professor. Xavier didn't seem at all astounded, he told Logan it was probably better that no one else knew for the time being.. Logan then went back to the hanger.

And he waited for her.

The sound of the hanger doors opening broke the silence, causing Logan to look up as the air vehicle which was on the platform slowly lowered down into the room.

When Marie descended from the jet the first thing Logan noticed that she was crying. He rushed to her. Wrapping his arms around her she started to cry even harder.

"I'm so sorry Logan." her voice was slightly muffled "I'm so sorry." she repeated.

She looked up at Logan.

"I couldn't do it, I planned this for months. I even managed to acquire this," she backed away from him and pulled out a small black object. Logan could tell right away that it was some sort of small bomb.

Marie then explained to Logan that she found out about a secret meeting that the friends of humanity were having.

"One that all the leaders would have been at," she looked back at Logan, the tears slowing down somewhat and her voice regaining a little more control. "Some of them were ones that were behind the explosion that killed Remy... It would have been so easy to plant this bomb and just murder them all!... but I couldn't do it."

"Of course you couldn't darlin'."

"I wanted t'do somethin', anythin'!" She pulled herself out of Logan's grip and started pacing. "I hurt so much Logan! More than I have ever in my entire life!"

She then stopped in front of him. And started to shout so loudly that it hurt Logan's ears, but he didn't stop her. He knew this was something Marie needed to do. Something she probably should have done a long time ago. Get her emotions out, and try to start the healing process.

"It should be me that is dead Not him! it should have been me! If only I had been there maybe this would have never happened!"

Logan took hold of her again and hugged her. He then let her cry in his arms soaking his shirt with her tears.


	5. Chapter 5

He watched her as she apologized to everyone. Logan could tell that she meant it. So much regret in her voice.

Watched her as she finally seemed to pick up her broken pieces and this time truly start her life again.

Watched her let other people care for her letting them be part of her and Julien's life.

Watched her become a stronger person than he would ever be.

And then something strange happened. It was probably about 6 months later...

Marie was finally returning to what Logan expected was as normal as she was going to get since Gambit's death. He would still catch her crying, sometimes he would let her alone and other times he would try to comfort her. Either way it hurt him seeing her like that.

But he wasn't the only one that was always reaching out to her. There was Scott. Both Logan and Scott had quickly forgiven her for what she had pulled on them that day, Scott probably even more quickly than Logan had.

But Logan was always one to take things way too personal.

Logan almost couldn't believe that during the whole six months he didn't have a desire to leave, not once. He found for once in his life he was somewhat content. He even started teaching self defense to some of the older students. Even started to think of the Xavier institute as home.

And then...

He was searching through the mansion. Logan had just finished one of his classes, was hungry and thought that maybe Marie would like him to take her and the baby out for some lunch. But he couldn't find her to ask.

Finally he asked Ororo who he nearly bumped into in the hallway due to his obsession of finding Marie.

"Oh, Scott made a picnic and took Rogue and Julien to Ashton park up the street." she told him.

Logan must have made a face. Because he heard Ororo chuckle as she continued walking down the hallway. He didn't know why, but every time he heard Marie and Scott's name in the same sentence he would have a sudden urge to pop out his claws and skin something alive.

That day was no different.

Making his way down to the garage he quickly jumped on his motorcycle, kicked it to life and started to the park. Logan usually didn't take to stalking her but he had an uneasy feeling that day and when he had one of those he had to follow it through.

After a five minute drive he parked behind Scott's red sports car.

Logan then sniffed the air, and when finding her scent headed in that direction. He found them quickly enough.

They were all on a blanket that was laid out on the green grass, a basket by them, food half eaten beside them. Scott was sprawled out on his side staring way to intently at Marie for Logan's taste.

Marie was bouncing her baby up and down on her lap, the baby squealing delightfully.

Logan was about to approach them when Scott started to speak.

"I love this!"

"Love what?"

"Watching you with Julien, its just a sight to behold."

Rogue beamed at that.

"You really make a beautiful mother Rogue."

"Thanks Scott."

Scott started to sit up and then Logan saw him frown.

"I sometimes wonder if I will ever have a family to take care of."

Rogue stood up placed Julien in his car seat and made her way over to Scott. She lightly hugged him and then took his hands in hers.

"Of course y'will have a family someday Scott. Y'would make a wonderful father!"

"And a husband?" Scott asked.

"Of course, your funny, witty, smart..."

"Handsome." Scott added sheepishly.

"Handsome," Marie started to giggle, a sound Logan hadn't heard in a long time. "And of course there is always that gorgeous.." she started to roll the words out, thickening her accent "totally hot..." and then her words went back to her normal voice "car of yours."

Scott laughed over that.

"Do you think you will ever marry again Rogue?"

With that Marie dropped his hands, quickly got up and away from Scott and then busied herself with watching joggers go by and kids screaming as they played on the playground. She crossed her hands over her chest and then after seemingly noticing her son again sat down beside him.

Scott knew he said the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry Rogue I shouldn't have asked you that."

Logan watched as Marie took a teddy bear out of a bag near by her and handed it to her son. Julien immediately started sucking on the bears ear.

"No, it's ok Scott. It's just when y'said that reality seem t'hit me a little harder than usual." There was a slight pause and then she continued "Can I ask y'a question?"

"Of course Rogue." Scott said quickly, ready to be accommodating since his blunder.

"How long did it take ya t'stop sleepin' on one side of the bed?"

And this time it was Scott who was squirming.

Everybody knew around the mansion that Scott hadn't been in a serious romantic relationship since Jean died. which was now going on five years.

"A very long time." he finally replied.

Rogue seemed to ponder over that. She then started to speak, softly at first.

"Its funny the things that can stir up memories. Just today when I was getting ready t'go with ya, I couldn't find a brush in the bathroom so I searched my room and still nothin'. Finally I found a comb in the back of a drawer and halfway through combin' my hair I realized that it was one of Remy's. After examining it more closely I realized it still had some of his hairs in it... that is when I found myself crumbled on the bathroom floor ballin' my eyes out miserably... That is why I was kinda late.. I thought I had already packed up and placed his stuff in storage months ago... And then from just seeing his comb.. my life is suddenly back t'me starin' into the damn abyss."

Logan could hear her start crying softly. Scott made his way over to her and pulled her into his arms.

"Does the pain ever go away Scott?" Logan heard her whisper.

"No, but I promise that it does get better in time."

Scott then pulled himself away from Marie and looked into her face as he softly wiped the tears off her pale skin.

"I care for you Rogue, I don't like seeing you in such pain, but you know you don't have to go through it alone."

Logan then wished that her back wasn't to him so he could see more of what Marie's expressions were.

"I know Scott y'keep tellin' me."

And that is when the strange part happened. When the world slowed down.

Logan saw it happening probably before Scott even knew what he was doing. Scott put a finger under Marie's chin, lifted her face up and then slowly lowered his mouth down on hers. Logan waited for Marie to pull away. But the kiss didn't last long enough for her to do so (if she was going to) since Julien decided it was a good time to scream for attention.

Both parted.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that," Scott started rushing the words out of his mouth "I don't know what is wrong with me I seem to keep doing everything wrong today."

Logan was fuming. Walking quickly back to his motorcycle he saw an object flying toward him. Unsheathing his claws he caught the thing in mid air, It was a football. A flat football now that it had 3 holes in it where all the air had leaked out of.

"You mutie freak you ruined my football!"

Logan turned to face the voice of the person with the death wish, his nostrils flaring. It was a teenager, probably no older than seventeen.

"Be glad it wasn't something else!" Logan said heatedly.

The kid gulped, suddenly very nervous as he saw Logan's claws retract, the flat ball falling to the ground near his feet. Fear radiating from the kids every pour.

That made Logan feel quite guilty. A feeling that didn't happen very often for him. Pulling out his wallet he pulled out a hundred dollar bill.

"Here buy yourself a new one.."

The kid eyed Logan then the bill and then snatched the money from his hands and took off in a run. Logan was just glad that he was far away from Scott and Marie so they wouldn't have heard or seen that.

* * *

After that happened Logan found himself watching her more than ever before. He knew Scott cared for her, he saw how he looked at Marie.

He watched as Scott was a little more cautious around Marie and Marie around Scott.

Over time it seemed to fade and they became close again. Much to Logan's dismay.

One day he found himself bringing it up.

"So you and Scott.."

They had been watching an old John Wayne western, she was leaning on him, the baby comfortably squished between them. She sat upright at that and gave him a questioning look.

"Me and Scott what?"

He rose his eyebrow and immediately she knew what he was asking. One of the few things that scared him about Marie was how she could read him so well.

"We are just good friends." she then grabbed the remote and pressed the mute button.

"But now that you brought it up I think he wants more." She watched him waiting to see how he would respond.

"How do you feel about that?" he asked his eyes glued on to the TV screen. Marie's eyes looked down at Julien and then back to Logan.

"I don't. It's too soon to feel much of anything nowadays." she then looked down upon her baby again and softy touched his head. "Except for my love of Julien"

That is when Scott entered the room. Marie's eyes light up.

"Hi Scott." she chirped warmly.

"Hey Rogue, didn't see you at lunch today so thought I would bring you a sandwich." He handed her a plate with.. Logan sniffed the air- bologna sandwich, sour cream and onion potato chips and a dill pickle.

"That was nice of you." Marie smiled up at Scott who sat down beside her and then handed her the plate. She looked the sandwich over.

"Beef Bologna?"

"Of course."

"Where's mine?" Logan asked Scott.

"You know where the kitchen is." Scott said while giving Logan his 'go to hell look.'

"Didn't say I didn't"

Marie put the plate in front of Logan.

"Want half?" Logan saw as Scott started to frown, not liking that Marie was giving him some the sandwich he had made.

"Sure." He brought out one of his claws and expertly cut the sandwich in half. The baby cooed, delighted with the display. His claws retracting Logan grabbed it and took a bite.

"Could use more mayonnaise." he grunted.

"No, it is fine Scott, Logan is just being a jerk." she glared half heartedly at Logan.

Scott directed his gaze at the TV.

"What are you guys watching?"

"Western." Logan answered.

"Would have never known that with all the cowboys, guns and everyone shooting at one another."

Logan gave him his 'do you want me to pop my claws in your gut look.'

Marie spoke up

"We don't know the title, we missed the openin' credits."

Marie had finished her sandwich and was now playing keep the potato chips and pickle away from the baby. Scott saw and picked up Julien and placed him on his lap.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

She gave Logan some of her chips which he happily accepted. When they finally finished Marie got up from the couch and picked up her plate.

"Be right back." she told them both.

Several long minutes passed. Neither Scott or Logan talking to one another, although Scott annoyingly talked to the baby the whole time. When Marie returned she had three cans and a baby bottle in her hand. She handed Logan a cold beer.

He gave her a questioning look.

"Got it out of your hidden stash and then ran into Bobby who was nice enough to chill it for me... Most of the younger kids are out on a field trip anyway so I think its ok to drink it now." She handed Scott a Pepsi , he also took the baby bottle from her, which after placing the Pepsi on a nearby table he started to feed Julien.

"You don't mind feeding him?" Marie asked Scott.

"No of course not."

She smiled at Scott and Logan watched as he returned it. Marie sat back down on the couch, got the remote out and put the sound of the TV back on..

They watched the rest of the movie.


	6. Chapter 6

A Year Passed. Very quickly. Between the missions they had to go on.. being part of the X-men and teaching life was busy.

He was sure it was even busier for Marie since she also had to add single parent to her list. Although many helped out and watched over the baby, she was still very protective.

Logan spent a lot of time with Marie and Julien. When the baby started talking one of his first words was calling Logan dada.

"No Julien, Logan is not your daddy." Marie was quick to correct.

He was annoyed when the baby said the same to Scott and the Professor.

But he wasn't the only one spending a lot of time with Marie. There was still Scott. Oh how Logan hated Scott. Even if he was great with Julien... and Marie.

He though Scott's feeling for Marie were one sided... until one night... It was two days after young Julien's second birthday.

A party had just been thrown for the toddler the day before he would actually turned two. Everyone knew that Marie did not like to celebrate on the actual day since it still caused her too much pain being that it was the same day her husband was killed.

Logan had gotten the kid a little electric toy motorcycle that he could play on when he was a little older. Marie had kissed him on the cheek and hugged him later while she thanked him.

The wad of cash he spent on it had definitely been worth it.

But now here he was sitting in a dark room. Anxious.

More so than he had been in a long time... He didn't know quite what he was doing there but he did know how it came about...

Logan had been watching a hockey game when he heard the knock on the door. He knew it was her. If not for her scent then for the way she tapped on his door. "Come in kid." he said loudly over the sound of the TV., not bothering to turn the volume down. She did.

"Hey Logan."

"Hey kid." she scrunched her nose at that comment, something he was used to.

He reached over, grabbed the remote and turned the television off. Knowing she had something to say. Luckily it was commercial time so he could act a little more patient then he felt. She sat down on the bed.

"Just wonderin', Julien and I were about t'head out, there is the circus in town and I thought he would get a kick out of it." Marie started to twist her hair in her fingers. "I was wondering if y'wanted t'go with us?"

He sat more upright in the bed and turned to face her.

"Don't think so Marie, I am sure there are others that would love to go with you, been waiting for this hockey game for a long time." his gaze making its way back to the TV. Logan noticed her disappointment as she got off the bed.

Marie then turned around and gave him an evil grin.

"I am sure that Scott probably will be glad that y'aren't comin' since he is the one taking us."

"Scott is taking you? Why didn't you didn't say anything about that?"

"I didn't say anythin' because I thought y'would say no," She frowned slightly "might as well told y'anyway since the result was the same."

"Well have fun, sure the one eye will be loads of fun." he tried to sound nonchalant but his words came out in a hiss.

"I'm sure he will." she looked in the direction of the television "well don't let me keep you from your hockey game.. I know how important they are to you."

With that she softly closed the door behind her. And that was when he started to think he had made a mistake.

For the next thirty minutes he tried to get back into the game but he found he no longer cared. Turning the TV off, jumping out of bed he grabbed his jacket and headed out of his room.

But it was too late, they had already left. And for some reason he didn't feel right about following her to where they had gone. Logan ended up in the front room. Luckily for him it was the weekend so not many kids were around as he had the room to himself.

Watching the front door as if he was a father waiting for his child from a date. Although he was no father and Marie was definitely not on a date with Scott.

People would come and go from the room but he would ignored them until they went away, not caring how they took his rudeness. They were used to it anyway.

He found himself waiting an hour, then two, then another and another until the sun that was pouring through the windows faded away and was replaced by the dusk and then darkness. Logan didn't know why he was so anxious with Scott being out with Marie. They had been out together before.

This instance though he was filled with such anxiety. Usually when he was feeling like he was Logan would take the motorcycle out for a spin, but this time he didn't want to move in case she came back while he was gone.

He was only vaguely aware when Ororo came in and turned a light on. She didn't so much as flinch when she saw him there, sitting in the shadows.

"Waiting for someone? she asked in her musical happy tone of voice.

"What makes you say that?" he asked her gruffly.

"Well I have been by this room several times, and your eyes seem always in the regional direction of the garage." She gave him a slightly bemused look. "You could have gone with them you know... Although I am sure Scott is glad that you didn't."

"What do you mean by that?" he asked scrutinizing her with his eyes.

Ororo sat down in a chair opposite of him even though she knew he wanted to be alone.

"Well it is no secret that you and Scott don't get along." she said softly

He snorted at the understatement.

"I am sure it hasn't been easy that Scott is in love with her." her words coming out so bluntly that he found himself sitting up straighter in his chair.

"In _Love_ with her?" Of course Logan already knew but he didn't know that others did as well.

"Yes, must not be easy, you wanted to protect her and Julien, want her utmost attention... must be hard for you sharing her."

"In Love with her?" he repeated more to himself that her.

"I see the way he looks at her, I think I could be blind and I would still be able to decipher the way he feels toward her." her gaze not breaking from his own.

"She's not ready for that." he said quickly.

Ororo got up and started heading out of the room. But not before turning around and looking at him intently in his eyes. "It been two years Logan, I know how much she loved Remy, but it is best for her to move on, not to live in the past... Scott would make her happy, I think she is starting to fall for him already." He glared at her sharply with that comment. But it didn't deter her from finishing what she had to say. "Regardless of your feelings toward Scott, I know they would be good together... Maybe even heal some of each others wounds. Don't stand in there way Logan, they need one another."

He was about to reply but he heard Kurt call out for her, and she was gone. Logan was alone once again in the room. His gaze making its way to the general direction of the garage once again. He suddenly didn't know what he was doing. What was he waiting for her for anyway? She had gone out plenty times before, he didn't now why he was suddenly on the edge, his nerves in a bundle.

Getting out of the chair he headed back to his room where after turning the TV on, Logan sat down on his bed... before he knew it he was fast asleep. Waking up to the sounds of voices in the hallway he looked up at his clock, 1:32 A.M. the red light blared at him.

Logan was out of bed about to open the door... ready to yell at whoever had just interrupted his rare peaceful sleep when he recognized the voices.

Scott's and Marie's.

He took his hand off the doorknob and found himself frozen in front of the door. They were outside her room. He didn't hear Julien stirring which meant she had probably already put him to bed.

"No it fine Scott, Julien slept most of the way home anyway."

"Didn't mean to keep you both out so late."

He heard Marie laugh softy.

"Its ok I had a lot of fun, so did Julien," she paused as if thinking "we haven't done anythin' like that in a while."

"I'm glad you had fun."

There was some moments of silence.

"Well goodnight Scott."

"Goodnight."

She was about to open her door when she was stopped.

"Wait," He heard Scott say, what sounded like his arm reaching out to touch her. She turned back around. "I really like spending time with you Rogue"

"We like spendin' time with y'too Scott"

"But do _you_ like spending time with me?"

"No you're a total bore," she started laughing probably from the expression on Scott's face "Just kiddin' Scott." Then she was serious again. "I really do like bein' with you."

"We could do this again if you like." Scott's words suddenly hesitant.

"No that's ok, one night at the circus will last Julien and I a long time."

"I Meant go out," ...Scott coughed nervously "maybe...maybe just the two of us."

"Ya mean like a date?" Marie's words almost coming out as nervous as Scott's.

"Yes, unless you don't want to."

"I don't know Scott, I haven't been out with anyone like that ever since, ever since... well not in a long time."

"It's not Logan is it?" Scott asked, fire beneath his words.

Logan's ears perked up at that.

"Why would y'say that?" Marie asked sharply.

"I don't know... forget it."

"It's forgotten." Logan heard her open her door. "It really is late Scott I think its time for me t'go to..."

And then her words were interrupted and Logan knew why.

Scott was kissing Marie.

He waited for her to push Scott away. Scream at Scott for kissing her again. That she wasn't ready, it was to soon. That she didn't care for Scott and that he shouldn't have done that.

But it never came. A couple long moments passed.

They must have parted for Scott started to speak, his words coming out slightly breathless.

"I'm sorry I have been wanting to do that again for a long time."

Marie answered, her words heavy with emotion.

"Scott stop apologizing."

He did. And they were kissing again.

Logan walked away from the door and rushed into the bathroom closing the door behind him. He wanted to yell, slash something or at the very least tear something to little bits with his claws.

Preferably Scott.

But he didn't do any of it. Instead he started screaming a bunch of profanities in his head. Each worse than the last. Logan then found himself standing in front of the mirror looking at his reflection.

He had no reason to be so angry.

Did he?


	7. Chapter 7

The next months passed by slowly and Logan knew why. It was the beginning of Scott's and Marie's relationship. Not long after that night they had officially become a couple.

Logan watched as they became closer and closer, Marie spending less time with him. Scott seemed ok with that. Maybe even pleased.

He watched as their relationship went from hesitant and awkward to comfortable and passionate. It tore him up inside.

Logan started leaving the mansion more and more, staying away longer and longer each time. And when he was there Logan went out, always coming back late at night when most everybody was asleep. It was too much for him to watch them together. He started to avoid the happy couple. Even if it was the cowards way. Not the Wolverines'.

After coming home late one night he found Ororo in the kitchen as if she was waiting for him. She sat there sipping a herbal tea. She looked up at him with an expression that said 'I feel for you I really do, but I still have to say what I have to say'.

He knew there was no escape from her when she was like that, so after grabbing a beer he sat down at the table opposite her and waited for her to speak. Ten minutes of silence passed before she finally opened her mouth.

"You can't keep doing this Logan." her soothing voice breaking the silence.

"Doing what?"

"Avoiding Rogue."

"I'm not avoiding Rogue."

"Aren't you? Rogue told me you are always making up excuses as to why you can do anything with her."

"She has Scott now."

Ororo shook her head slowly

"Doesn't mean she doesn't need you anymore."

"She doesn't." he said gruffly.

"You're her friend Logan. Of course she needs you."

Logan just sat there staring at his now empty can, Ororo watching him with compassion and sympathy?

"You're hurting her." she told him.

"Hurting her?"

"By the way you have been acting around her lately."

Another couple long seconds of silence passed. He finally straightened himself in his chair and turned his eyes toward Ororo.

"I am just not comfortable with Rogue and..." suddenly finding he couldn't say it but knew he needed to "with Rogue and Scott.. as a couple." She stared at Logan knowing that he had just pretty much bore his soul for someone like him who never really shared himself with anyone.. except of course Rogue... not that he had with her in a while.

"Why do you hate Scott so?"

"I don't. Although the guy is an ass... and is way too serious all the time."

"Then what is the problem?" Ororo eyes suddenly lit up as if she had just had an epiphany. "You care for deeply don't you!"

"Of course I do!" he said his words coming out roughly.

"You're in love with her yourself, that is why you can't stand seeing the two of them together!"

Logan stood up quickly, his chair falling down behind him.

"No. I don't." he said is words slowly, anger burning them. "She's just a kid."

"Oh really!" Ororo said while getting up out of her chair and placing both hands on the table. "You're fooling yourself if you believe that, she's been a woman for some time now, and if her memories she has absorbed through other people don't make her more mature beyond her years, then her experiences have... Wake up Logan, stop being a fool.. I can't believe the mighty Wolverine is scared of being in love!"

Her words angered him and before he knew it his claws were tearing out of his skin.

Ororo's eyes went to his hands and then back to his face, but she showed no sign of moving.

Suddenly realizing what he was doing he unsheathed his claws and stormed past Ororo. She said nothing to him as he left. But he could feel her worried gaze on his back as he exited.

* * *

So even more months went by. Logan tried to stop avoiding Rogue and spend time with her, but things were totally different than ever before. There was a strain on their relationship that hadn't ever been there before.

Logan found that Scott was being more polite to him and was slower to anger around him. That infuriated Logan beyond words...

One morning Logan woke up and realized that he just couldn't do it anymore. It was time for him leave. He just didn't want to deal with any of it anymore.

He found himself heading toward Marie's Room, after knocking on the door she opened it, her eyes filled with sleep since he probably had just woken her up.

"I'm Leaving kid." he said as soon as the door was open.

"You're leaving?" she said, looking at him. "For how long this time?"

He didn't answer and she suddenly realized what he meant. Her sleep vanished out of her eyes as if she was suddenly wide awake.

"I thought y'were happy here. Y'were even startin' to teach." she opened the door so that he could enter he room.

Logan walked in, turned around and faced her as she shut the door behind them.

"I know Marie but things change."

"Y'can't leave Logan!" she said grabbing his arm, ... "I need you!" sudden desperation making it's way into her words.

"No you don't." he shook her arm off of his "And sometimes I wonder if you ever did."

"Don't say that Logan!" she said vehemently "I did need you! Y'took a scared, lonely kid and put her in a place of sanctuary where she found friends and a future!" Marie looked up at him tears showing in her eyes. "If it wasn't for y'I would have never met Remy or Scott... would have never had Julien. Would have never gotten my powers under control! Y'helped me become the person I am today! Y'have and always will be the best friend I have ever had!"

"A friend!" he said angrily. "What if I said I no longer wanted to be your friend?"

"I don't understand"... she said sadly as she shook her head in confusion.

Logan found he couldn't contain himself any longer.

"I'm in love with you!" he blurted out, grabbing her to him. He then kissed her with all that he had, all that he had been holding back, all that he was.

And that is when he felt something he hadn't in a long time.

Her energy pull.

He was about to release Marie before it effected him, when she pushed him away.

"I'm sorry Logan I can't." she looked up at him regretfully.

"Your skin," he looked down at her right arm "your not wearing your bracelet." Knowing as he spoke that he was stating the obvious.

"I know, I took it off." she started rubbing her hand where it usually was "It gives me headaches if I wear it too long."

"Does Dr. McCoy know?" he asked worriedly.

"Yea he knows." she answered quickly.

"Why didn't you tell me!"

"I'm sorry I didn't want to worry you... Its nothing anyway." Marie went and sat down on her bed, crossing her legs she slowly looked back up at him. He saw guilt lying on her features.

"You didn't push me away just because of yours skin did you.?" he asked as if making a revelation.

"No Logan. I didn't." she turned her face away from him as if it was to painful to look at him "Look y'were right all those years ago... I was a kid. A kid who was very much in love with y'but now..."

"Now?"

"I love you Logan, I always have and always will, I just don't love y'like that..." her voice drifted off as her eyes finally made contact with his. Eyes full of tears.

He couldn't help but feel that he had heard those words before. Logan then knew he had.. only he was the one that had spoken them.. all those years ago..

Turning himself away from her he started walking out of the room. He said quietly but loud enough for her to hear.

"I think you know that I am not coming back."

And then he walked out the door, shutting it loudly behind him. Logan heard her start crying on the other side. But that only strengthened his resolve as he made his way to his room.

To pick up his stuff and to leave the Xavier mansion... never to return.


	8. Chapter 8

The years slowly went by. Logan found out that he no longer cared who he had been, who he was or who he might be becoming.

He no longer was Logan but Wolverine once again.

Back to only caring for himself and no other. It just didn't matter anymore. It was if he was an empty shell.

Not long after he left he received a long letter from Ororo telling him that Scott and Marie had been married.

Ripping it in half with his claws he threw it away. He got as drunk as he could that night.

Logan got requests to go on missions with the X-men but he always declined until the invitations stopped coming all together.

* * *

One day after a pretty brutal cage fight he made his way back to his hotel room. He was surprised to find a very familiar car parked out front.

He passed the Ice Cube kid who was seated in the drivers seat listening to some music. Logan didn't bother to say hello or even to nod in acknowledgment when he looked his way. And he wasn't the least bit taken aback when he opened his hotel door and found Professor Xavier, who somehow managed to get inside the crammed room with his wheelchair, sitting there looking at him as he entered the dark room.

"Logan." he said offering Wolverine a warm smile.

Wolverine blinked twice, a movement that for anyone that knew him well would have told them he was getting agitated. He hadn't been called Logan in a long while. And it coming from the Professor rubbed him the wrong way.

"What are you doing here?" he asked tersely as he took of his bloody shirt to change into the cleanest he had.

"I've come to talk to you."

"Could have called." he said, slamming his drawer and sitting down on the bed facing Xavier.

"We both now that wouldn't have done any good."

The Professor started to rifle through some of Logan's letters that were on the paint chipped night stand.

"You ever read any of these?" Xavier asked.

"Yea, just haven't found the time lately."

"Some of these are over a year old and still haven't been opened." Xavier flipped through them still looking them over.

"Did you come all this way just to rummage through my things Chuck?" he asked gruffly.

The Professor put the letters back down on the night stand.

"We are worried abut you."

"Its been over two years and suddenly you're worried about me?" Wolverine asked in disbelief.

"I suppose we always believed you were coming back."

"I told you I wasn't." He grated.

"Yes, I suppose you did." Xavier acknowledged, letting out a discontented sigh.

"Did you hear about what happened to the Friends Of Humanity Society?" The Professor inquired of him, changing the subject.

"I heard that most of the organization has been closed down, why do you ask?"

"Because Rogue, with the help of Scott were the ones that did it." He said proudly.

"How's that possible?" Wolverine asked curiously.

The Professor encouraged by his sudden interest continued.

"Well remember all those years ago when she "borrowed" the x jet for her own personal reasons?"

Wolverine nodded.

"Well although she didn't exact her revenge the way she originally planned she still managed to "acquire" through her gift some knowledge from people in the organization that she came in contact with. And with the help of the info she obtained she was able to use it against them to close them down."

"They will be back." he remarked.

"Maybe so," the professor straightened up in his chair "but not for a long time."

They talked for a couple more minutes about nothing in particular and nothing personal. Finally the Professor seeing that he was about to wear out his welcome made his way toward the door.

"You know you are always welcome at the Xavier Institute, and will always be a member of the X-men." he said, stopping beside Logan where he was still sitting on the bed.

"I know." Wolverine got up and opened the door for the Professor.

"How's Marie?" He found himself asking before he could stop himself.

Xavier looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"Happy." he answered simply.

And then he left.

Shutting the door behind him. Wolverine went back to the bed, slamming his body onto it fiercely.

The bed creaked under his weight. Many silent minutes passed before he rolled over, got up and went to take a shower. Painful thoughts consuming him along the way.

* * *

Ten more years passed. Logan still never in one place long enough to start any relationships or gain any friends. Although a lot of the bartenders knew him by name.

Still Wolverine.

He didn't think about the X-men much anymore, they seemed a dim memory, almost a dream. Wolverine would still help out an occasional person here and there which made him feel a little better about himself.

Ever once in a while he would smell someone or see something that reminded him of a certain southern girl. But he would force those thoughts out of his head as fast as they entered.

None of the X-men wrote him anymore and he hadn't seen the Professor since that dark night in the hotel room. Life wasn't good, not even great. But he was living and surviving...

Through all his cage fighting he earned enough money to buy some property.

It was out there far enough away from civilization that Wolverine found himself comfortable. More so than he had in a long time. He built himself a small cottage and actually found himself somewhat content after the first night when he lit a fire in the hearth. He stayed at his cabin whenever the cage fighting was slow.

And so life continued.

Wolverine didn't get much mail. Although still managed to get junk mail. How they got his address was beyond him. He would go to the small town's post office to pick up his mail. Which he would do once a month when he also went to replenish his supplies.

During one of his slow seasons he found himself going back to his cabin, but before heading there he stopped at the post office.

The young teenager girl behind the counter, looked over Logan appreciatively before handing him a pile of letters. On the top was one black letter.

Logan had never seen anything like it.

The girl watched him, expecting him to open it up in front of her he supposed. But he didn't. Walking out of the store he headed to his truck.

Stopping at a trash can he quickly went through his letters, after throwing 99 percent of them away he continued to his vehicle.

Wolverine was left with the one black letter. He looked at where his address was written. A Handwriting he would know anywhere. Its smooth letters and elegant characters telling him right away.

Ororo.

Getting inside his truck and closing the door behind him he quickly ripped it open with one of his claws and then started to read.

_Dear Logan,  
I know that I haven't written you in a while and that is something for which I am sorry about. And I am also sorry that my first letter after all this time comes with some very sad news._

He noticed that some of the words were stained. She had been crying when she wrote this. He continued to read.

_I could try to water the news down for you but you were always one who liked things straight._

_Rogue has passed away. It happened so suddenly. Out of the blue . She became violently ill and before the final diagnosis had come in she died._

_She had a brain tumor Logan. It seems that the bracelet she always wore that allowed her to touch caused it. Dr., McCoy said she must had been in excruciating pain and he didn't know why she never came to him. Or maybe he does._

_We are having her funeral in two weeks. On Sunday the fourteenth. I know that she would have liked you to be there. In fact we all would like you to be.  
I hope to see you there and I am deeply and truly sorry. I know how much she meant to you._

_With much regret and sadness.  
Ororo Monroe._

Wolverine put the letter slowly down on the passenger side of the car. And felt rare tears building up in his eyes.

He then started to roar and curse and then letting out his claws he shredded everything he came in contact with.

After several minutes, he finally calmed down, retracted his claws and let out a long breath. Grabbing the letter again he looked at the date on the letter. It had been written over four months ago. He was too late. Her funeral was already over.

Wolverine started the car which was luckily still working, even after what he had done to it.

He then headed back to New York. Back to Marie... One last time.


	9. Chapter 9

All that watching, all that protecting, all that love didn't mean anything.

She was dead. Marie was dead.

He still couldn't believe it, but now, standing in front of her head stone, things seeming somewhat surreal, Wolverine knew it was true.

He heard footsteps coming up from behind him but didn't bother to turn around. He knew who it was, the familiar smell drifting into his nostrils.

Scott.

The last person he wanted to see... Let alone smell.

"They said you came back." Wolverine said nothing. "I knew I would find you here."

He waited for him to leave but after several minutes he knew that wasn't going to happen. Wolverine whirled around, a snarl making its way on his face. He saw that time had changed Scott somewhat. His hair a little longer and although he still was wearing his ruby quartz glasses, Wolverine could actually see his eyes behind them quite clearly.

Sad eyes.

Wolverine also didn't fail to notice the wedding band that was still on his hand.

"How could you let this happen!" Wolverine shouted at him.

"There was nothing that could be done." Scott said defensively.

"She told Dr. McCoy she was having headaches due to the bracelet why didn't he check her out then?" Wolverine started clenching his fists trying hard not to hit him.

Scott answered his word hushed and confused. "She never told Henry anything of the kind"

Wolverine's snarl disappeared. But his anger remained.

"How could you let this happen to her! You were her husband!" he said spitting the last word out of his mouth with disdain. "If anyone could have prevented it or helped her it was you!"

"Who are you to accuse me of anything! You're the one that abandoned Marie!" Scott said loudly, his voice seething with animosity as his right hand went to the right side of his glasses. As if he was going to blast him.

Wolverine cringed, at the sound of Marie's name coming from Scott's mouth.

"She had you she didn't need me!" He yelled back.

"That's crap Logan, she needed you and you left!" Scott glared at him "Like you always do."

They were both stunned in silence, Scott by what he just admitted and Wolverine by what he just heard. They stood there staring at each other the tension almost palatable.

"It wouldn't have made any difference if I stayed or left." Wolverine said.

"It would have to her." Scott's hand inched away from his face, as his voice softened somewhat.

"How can you above all people say that?" Wolverine asked not as angry as he was.

"I loved her Logan, I always will.. and I know that you walking out on her really tore her up inside... You were her mentor, her friend..." Scott frowned, "And I am not afraid to admit that I stopped her at least two times from going after you." Scott's frown deepened into a pained expression and then he paused before opening his mouth again, as if suddenly unsure of himself. "She loved you, I always knew she did." Scott finally said.

"She grew out of it." Wolverine protested

"Maybe her love changed, but it always remained constant."

"Why didn't you let her come after me?"

Scott looked at Marie's grave a look of regret and sadness. And Wolverine suddenly knew, Scott was afraid he would have lost her. That didn't make him feel any better.

"Didn't you know Logan?... she loved us both."

"But she chose you."

"Only because I made the first move." Scott admitted.

"You don't really believe that."

Scott avoided the question.

"I know she loved me, I would have never married her or allowed her to marry me otherwise. But there was always a part of her, even after her marriage to me that always yearned for you. It didn't help that you disappeared."

"Didn't it?"

Scott showed a small smile on his face.

"Well maybe it helped me a little. "

"So."

"So?" Scott asked.

"So what now?"

Before Scott could answer Wolverine heard quickened footsteps coming from behind Scott.

"Dad!" he heard a breathless voice say "Dad!" the voice continued more urgently.

Scott turned around. Wolverine watched as he lifted his shoulders up as if drawing on strength he didn't have. A boy about the age of thirteen stopped in front of Scott.

"Dad, I can't make Sarah stop crying, think she wants a bottle or something but we didn't bring one," he then started whispering, obviously not aware that Wolverine could still hear him quite clearly. "I also brought these like y'asked." he handed Scott what looked to be some small books and a computer disk. "I know I was supposed t'come sooner so y'could spend as little time with this guy as possible, but I sorta lost track of time... Sorry."

The kid moved to the side so he could get a closer look at Wolverine. Wolverine couldn't help but notice the kid had startling red eyes.

Like his father.

It was Julien. Marie and Remy LeBeau's son.

Wolverine found his breath caught in his throat. He couldn't help but stare openly. Julien didn't seem to mind. He was staring at Wolverine too. But the young teenager finally turned around and left, after getting a look from his father.

Scott turned around looking guilty, knowing full well that Wolverine had heard everything that Julien had just said.

"Who's Sarah?" Wolverine asked, before Scott could offer an apology that he didn't need.

"She's my daughter."

"Your daughter?"

"Yes, Marie and I had a daughter together."

"Oh."

Scott realizing that he had a purpose, put his hand out, offering Wolverine the small books and cd in his hand.

"What's this?" Wolverine asked.

"Its Marie's journals, she wanted you to have them."

"Why me?"

"I think she wanted you to know how she felt, what she was feeling."

"Don't you want them?

"I have already read them, besides I have her in here." he said placing a hand over his heart.

Scott gave Marie's grave a final look, then he offered his hand up to Wolverine, and waited for him to take it.

He surprised himself when he did. They shook hands.

Scott then turned around and left Wolverine once again in silence at her grave.

He put two of the books under his left arm, the small cd labeled "Rogue's Journals cont.." in his shirt pocket and opened one of the journals. Wolverine flipped through it reading some of the passages.

_Dear journal,  
my life is a living hell. First I put my first boyfriend in a coma, then my parents kick me out of the home with barely the clothes on my back and $200 dollars. I have been traveling for over 8 months now and of course I am out of money, haven't eaten in 2 days, not to mention haven't taken a bath. And I am getting sick of hitchhiking. More than a few that I have ridden with have gotten a little too friendly and as a result I have gotten more nasty memories to deal with. But I bet they will think twice before doing that again. So here I am going to another city in Canada, a big scruffy guy just picked me up in his large truck and I am glad that he doesn't seem like the touchy type. He said we have about 4 more hours to go so I think it is safe enough for me to try to get some sleep, Lord knows I could use some..._

_Dear Journal,  
I can't believe it! Out of my darkness and despair I met someone who brought me light and hope. That almost seems poetic! Well I feel like it! His name is Logan/Wolverine... who would have thought someone with a name like that would end up being my saving grace!_

He flipped through some more pages

_Dear Journal  
Logan has been gone for 3 months, he saves my life and then disappears. I know he wants to find out about his past. Wish he wanted to live here in the present... with me.. Where did that come from! Ok so I have a crush on him! Who wouldn't? He saved my life in more forms than one. But I am only 16 and I know he only thinks of me as a kid, but for now that is ok. It is nice having a protector. specially when it is him._

_Dear Journal,  
Logan came back today, couldn't help but notice how he looked at Jean as she walked down the stairs..._

He closed that book and took out the 2nd..

_Dear Journal,  
enough is enough, ever since I told Logan how I felt, I haven't talked to him. And I have been avoided him like the plague. But I miss him. So he doesn't want to be a part of my life like that. Time for me to act more mature. Time to make things right with him. I need him to be a part of my life._

_Dear Journal,  
I know that I haven't written in a while. Sorry. Wait a minute why am I apologizing to an inanimate object? Anyway. My life has changed.. somewhat. I am actually dating someone! Can you believe it! Me the Rogue. The untouchable._

_His name is Remy. When I first met him I thought he was nothing but a self-centered wanna be lady's man, but well, obviously my feeling towards him have changed. It took me a long time to finally give in to him, (he can be quite persuasive!) but, well, he is not quite the person I thought he was... so caring, and thoughtful and spontaneous not too mention a little crazy sometimes, which is fine with me. Of course it doesn't hurt that he is the definition of eye candy. I mean... dang. Jubilee has been chasing him for months, not too mention a lot of the other girls can't seem to stop drooling over him... no man has gotten this much attention from the girls since, well.. Wolverine. So anyway, tonight is our 2 month anniversary, Remy told me to dress up, that we were going somewhere special. Dressing up isn't easy for a person like me, but with Kitty's help I think I look ok. So here I am wearing a pretty revealing dress for someone like me, typing away at my computer waiting for Remy. I sometimes wonder.._

_There is a knock at my door gotta go..._

Wolverine closed the book and took out the third flipping through the pages he managing to give himself a paper cut that healed itself almost before he registered the sharp stinging pain. Something dropped out of the pages and after leaning down to retrieve it he saw that it was a letter.

A sealed letter addressed to him, in Marie's handwriting. It looked somewhat old, it was yellowed and wrinkled and looked as if it had been handled a bit.

He tore it open and pulled out the letter. Her smell came off strongly from the pages.

First thing he noticed was the date, the letter was over 8 years old.

He started to read

_Dear Logan,  
You have been gone for some time now. So I am writing this letter to you more for myself than you, since I know I will never mail it._

_I can't say that I am surprised that you haven't come back. But there was always a part of me that believed you were. I am hoping that writing this to you will help me finally let you go._

_I lied Logan._

_That day you told me you loved me and I said I didn't feel the same... I lied. But it was too late! Don't you see. All those years of pining away for you, then the rejection and then loosing our friendship for a while was just too much. I was a coward. And as I said it was too late. I was committed to Scott and I do love him. More than anything. He has accepted Julien as his own, and I know that when we have children together that he will be a wonderful father to our child as well. He is a wonderful caring person and I know he will never leave me, betray me or shut me out of his life._

_He is too good for me. But back to how I lied._

_I do love you Logan. I had only known you for a couple days before I realized how much you mattered to me. My affection growing over the years till it deepened and became something new entirely. But you told me you didn't feel the same way, and I accepted that. I then met Remy and I found although my feelings for you changed since I was falling for him, they were always there. And they always have been._

_Strange loving two people at the same time. Strange and sad._

_I just wanted to say that I have come to turns with the fact that you are never coming back.. and although it makes me sad I hope and pray that you have somehow found peace and maybe even some contentment. You deserve it._

_I will never forget you Logan, you helped me in more ways than one. I will remember the good times we had and the memories we share._

_Goodbye Logan,  
Love, Marie._

He folded the thin paper up and carefully put it back into its envelope. Wolverine noticed that he hadn't breathed since he started to read the letter, so he let out a long breath. Placing it back inside the middle of the third book, he took hold of the three books in his hands. Putting them on the ground in some grass near him, he approached her gravestone.

He lightly touched it, closing his eyes letting the memories flood his senses.

The sound of her laughter,

The sound of her voice when she was excited.

Her smell.

The way she scrunched her nose up whenever he called her kid.

The pain she had to go through when she lost Gambit, and the happiness she regained through her son.

The tears in her eyes when he told her he was never coming back.

Stopping himself before he digressed into more of the bitter memories, Wolverine opened his eyes, let out a deeply saddened sigh and then picked up the books again. Turning around he went back to his truck. After getting in and shutting the door he placed them near him making sure they were ok.

Then he started the engine put the car in reverse and then started to back up. It was time to go back to his cabin... away from his memories, away from the X-men, away from the world.

Time to go back to being alone. Whether he liked it or not...

Wolverine was in the middle of backing up when he suddenly heard a horn honking. When he looked behind his shoulder he noticed that a van was blocking his path.

Anger swelled up in him, he saw Scott getting out and coming in his direction.

He made his way to Wolverine's window and motioned for him to roll it down. He did, but in such a way that he showed Scott he wasn't at all happy with what he was doing.

"What are you blocking me for?"

"Can't allow you to go back to Canada yet."

"You can't allow me?" he asked incredulously.

"I promised the Professor and Ororo that I wouldn't let you leave until you came back to the mansion to see them."

"I don't want to see anyone right now."

Scott lowered his head and then looked back up at Wolverine.

"I'm sure that is true Logan, and I even know how you feel, but I still can't allow you to leave."

"How are you going to stop me?"

A wide grin spread across Scott's features as his hands made there way to his glasses.

"You really want to know?"

The van honked again and then started to drive away.

"Besides Julien is driving Sarah back, so I am stranded, you wouldn't leave me here would you?"

"You have to ask?"

Wolverine started backing up his truck, but then stopped. Looking back at Scott he motioned at him to get in the truck.

Scott started to jog to the truck, and when he reached the passenger side door he unlocked the door.

"Thought you were going to leave me."

Wolverine grunted

"I was."

"So why did you stop?"

"Marie would have wanted me to." He said, knowing he was speaking the truth.

"Oh." was all that Scott could say.

And then they headed back to the Xavier School for the Gifted. Wolverine found himself driving slower that he normally did, but whether Scott noticed or not he said nothing.

But then he found himself thinking.

Maybe he didn't have to be alone.

Maybe it was time for his life to change.

Maybe he could once again become apart of something that was bigger than himself and that had actual meaning.

When they reached the gates to the mansion he was no longer hesitant. Entering his code on the security system key pad, he was surprised to see that it still worked. After all the passing years, they were still expecting him to return.

"Marie wouldn't let them delete it out of the system." Scott said in a hushed voice.

"Welcome Wolverine." the feminine computer voice chirped.

The gates then opened and he drove through.

Memories overwhelmed him and he found himself depressed, angry, and then strangely content.

He then knew. Not only was he back but he was once again home.

Wolverine hoped Marie would have liked that.


End file.
